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Cut the tie to anything holding you back from success. Welcome to the Cut the Tie podcast. Hi. I'm your host, Thomas Helfrich. And in each episode, we bring you real entrepreneurs that really overcame challenges on their journey to become successful. We look at the impact, the moment, how it affected everything in their lives. Follow us on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Now let's meet our guest on Cut the Tie podcast. Woah. Where am I? That was fun. That's a first too that's ever happened. You know, I'm kinda nervous today. I'm I'm channeling the nervousness of our guest who said I'm very nervous to come on today. And on and she's she's gonna do great. Anna Scoby is our guest. We're gonna talk about helping introverts find their voice. She's an introvert. Don't tell her this, though. She doesn't know it. Actually, no. She does know it. I don't think she knows she's probably closer to extrovert at this point. We're gonna talk about how you, can find your own voice, as an introvert. And and and her journey with this, she is, you know, a corporate trainer. She's an author and a speaker and also the founder of a thing called Project Be You. She's gonna talk about that as well. This will help, you know, finding your voice as introvert can help a lot of people maybe cut a tie. And in that metaphor of cutting the tie to things that hold you back, you know, as you grow up as a kid, as an introvert, you know, us loud loud mouth extroverts always walked over them. Unless you had an introvert teacher that said, well, let's let little Johnny talk to be quiet, Tommy. I've heard that a few hundred times. You, you will be restricted in maybe communicating in who you are if you don't learn how to maybe deal with that. So I thank everyone for listening and watching. I have one simple call to action. Hit the follow button. It's it's on your little Apple thing or Spotify thing. Hit the follow. We do, like, five shows a week at least released, and you'll get laid the latest thing coming out. So hit the follow button, and, and I'll love you for it. Actually, rumor has it you'll be a smarter person and lose 10 pounds of just pure visceral fat if you follow the show. I I didn't make it up. I did, actually. Alright, Anna. How are you? I'm at the stage. Hello.
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That was a pretty awesome introduction.
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You know Yes. I I put some video thingy in front of me. I'm like, what's going on here? I can't even see me. So thank you. How are you? I'm good. And you? I'm good. I'm good. You were when we were off air, you said you were from California, the entire state. Thank you. Welcome to, to Georgia. I
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love it. The state or the country?
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I can't tell you. Answer that question. It's a in my case, I just drive around the whole time. I don't know how you do your your whole state living.
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I just fly. Really? Yeah.
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Yeah. Those carbon else. You're gonna get yelled at by California people for putting carbon in the air. Yeah. Yeah. People get down the road. Welcome to the show. I I've I'll let people know you're you were a little nervous. I don't I don't see the nervousness, but deep down inside, you feel it.
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Yes. That's good. But this is something this is something that I tell this is like a first tip. Can I share? Can I share? Course. Tips are encouraged. I jump right into the point. That's just how I do straight straight direct. Straight share. You start with labeling that emotion and you come in to the interview or to the presentation or to anything else and say, hey. I'm nervous. Are you nervous? It labels that feeling, and you don't have to hold on to it anymore, and you free yourself from it, and then you can just move on with it. It's like the same thing as when you have to go to the bathroom and you try to, like, hold it instead of just going. Like, you can't think of anything else. Right? All you think is, like, I have to go. I have to go. I have to go. The same thing happens with nervousness. So when we are nervous and we're trying to hide it, we can't think about how to answer the question. We can't think about how to interact with the person. We can't think about what's happening around us. All we think is don't show them you're nervous. Don't show them you're nervous. Don't show them the nervous. But if you just say, hey. I'm nervous, you let go of it. Yeah. You name that elephant in the room. And then from there, you're like, okay. Everybody knows I'm nervous, so let's move on. So I do that often, and I tell my students, I tell my clients, like, hey. You're nervous? Tell them you're nervous and move on. Just go on. So now I already know I'm nervous. I'm not perfect. Yeah. Here I am. Let's just do it. What what else you got? You're you're
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you're you're quoting some of my favorite karaoke material, which is, you know, conceal. Don't feel. Don't let them know. No. No. No. Let me not let it go. Let them know. Let them know. Yeah. Can't hold it back anymore. See? Yes. Introverts do that. No. That is an extrovert activity is karaoke. Unless you're an excellent singer and you know I own that mic and everybody here will, will listen up. I don't know. They will stop talking when I sing. That is not the case for me. My son has that actually where he sings people kinda go, what? That's different. That's that's nice. Okay. Okay. We're gonna listen to that. I don't have that talent. Neither. That's a good enough icebreaker. Let's let's go. Let's do you have a lot to say here on this topic? Because you do a lot of things, and I I'd like you to start with the you know, if you're I I love these kind of movies where they start, like, three fourths of the way through the movie, something happens. I'm like, woah. And then they go back fifteen years earlier. And you're like, you know, wait. How long to get to the and then as a kind of an entrepreneurial ADD person, you kinda like you're you're all in. You already know the outcome, so you don't you don't have to just predict the outcome. You already know it. You're just there. Yes. Anyway, that's our that's pretty much our audience. So start with us three fourths to the movie. Tell me about what you do and how you do it. We like the little pitch there for that, and then, back up and start with your journey.
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Well, I'm an introvert. That's as you know. I also I'm a trainer, and I am a speaker, and I am a founder of the project view. And those are the few of the hats that I do wear and do a few other things. As a trainer, I speak student's language because I am a student. I started with, learning my business management degree and then arts of communication degree, and I continue learning. Being in Toastmasters International, I publish my public speaking skills every week and learn and get the feedback. As a speaker, I know that you don't have to be the loudest one to be the most impactful one. And as a founder of the Project Be You, I know that our educational system, let's just name the elephant in the room, can use a little bit of a help, and we can teach our kids the skills that actually they can use in real life and because the life is not about the multiple choice questions. Right? So I wanted to teach the kids the skills the soft skills they actually need. So I started the Project Be You, and that's who I am. That's how I started, and, that's what brought me to this show to be with you on this journey to tell everybody else of who I am and and and what I do.
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I appreciate. And, I've never done I mean, I think I did one Toastmasters in college. Probably not I mean, like and I look at it now and, like, the, you know, like, the speaker bureaus, like, the the different, like, you know, associations. And it's probably somewhat of an excuse that I make, but I I don't find time for it. I I I would love to do more public speaking, myself and and somebody who is, we were talking about this off air a little. I feel like an extrovert, but at the same time, I'm okay not talking to anybody for, like, twelve straight hours. Okay. I could oh, it is I could just be like, I could observe people pretty easily. And and if somebody comes up to me, I'll have a conversation, but I will that's changed over time. So maybe the question I'm leaning towards there is just because you start off one way, it doesn't mean you're gonna end that way. Not at all. It do it's so so it can go and and, believe it or not, I mean, like, mine has gone the other way. It's definitely like, I did a presentation at this thing called Podfest a few like, a week or so ago. And I was, like, I used to go all over the world talking about intelligent automation and AI and, you know, you get on stage and you're talking. And I got up there and I was like, damn. I don't know if I'm ready for this. To be fair, I didn't have a computer. I didn't know how I was gonna do my slides because they couldn't do it off my phone. I was a little bit like, if I gotta just talk to this, this is gonna be boring. Figured it out. But, apparently, it went very well, and it reminded me that I do very well on stage. However, I find myself as I've gotten older, like, I just I don't crave it as much. Like, I do well with it. I can make it be entertaining and just I just treated it like a podcast with no no one talking about. Anyway, long winded, people can change. And and you've seen this firsthand with some of your students who start off of, like, can't say a word in a public space to they're on stage now. Is is that a fair transformation that's that's possible for many people?
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Well, yeah. Kind of yes and no. And I I think a lot of times well, I know in in my line of profession, a lot of times, people think or students or my clients think that they have to change to get on stage or they have to change to give a presentation. But in what I discovered, they don't have to change who they are. They just learn the skills how to do it. It's like a switch. You learn the skill that you need to present. It's like wearing a dress or wearing a clothes. You don't become a dress or you don't become a clothes. So you don't have to change who you are. You just learn a skill. You learn a tools to present, and then you still you stay who you are. You're just changing your tools, the skills, and then you you don't become someone. You might change a little bit of a personality trait, but you develop a certain skills, and then you will feel more comfortable or not. But I wanted to also address the nervousness feel of it. People it's it's a common misconception that as you get better at things, you stop feeling afraid of public speaking or you stop feeling afraid of that stage. I have over ten years of public speaking and presenting on the stages, big stages, small stages, different audience, and I still feel nervous. And right before that moment I get on stage, there's still that thought of, maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Why am I here? But what you learn is how to take a deep breath, the coping skills, the managing skills of how to do it, and it becomes somewhat joyful, somewhat purposeful, somewhat manageable. And then you become that powerful speaker where you're thinking, I can do this. But you still feel nervous. Nervousness doesn't really go away because nervousness comes because you care. You care for outcome of your message. So people think, oh, I can't do it because I'm nervous. No. You're doing it because you care, and nervousness is there.
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Well, I I think nervousness is healthy because it it reminds you to focus. It kinda brings your body in. And and even when you're nervous, like, you know, just get on stage for, you know, a 50 people or so. It was a big audience. It was just small. Right? It was like but as soon as you kinda get up there and you you you get the crowd into you a little bit, then then for me, it it it then it's like, okay. We're here. We're good. That's like not even the nerves with the way it's it becomes more of an addiction of of excitement. What you're worried about is that first moment of, oh my god. What do they hate me? They're like, how are you gonna hate me in the first minute? And, actually, like you said, one thing you can be like, I know what though. I'm nervous for them. I'm worried you're gonna hate me in the first thirty seconds.
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Well, for them to for them to hate you, they have to know you. It's a strong emotion. They most time, they actually thankful they are not the one on stage. So so they actually want to hear what you have to say because they are there for a reason. Right? Some had paid the money to be there, so they do want to hear what you have to say. Some are thankful that they are not the one who were forced to be on the stage. They're like, yay. You go. We're happy for you. And some are actually curious to say, hey. I wanna learn from you because they want to know about the topic. So it's it's not true that they they they hate you. It's just our fears that get the best of us. Who's better
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at learning this skill? Is it men or women?
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That is a tricky question.
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They're all gonna be tricky. There's no easy question today.
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I think the one who wants to learn and has their why. Because I've had students who comes in and says, I want to learn. And the first question I ask them is, why? Because some of them would say, well, my boss told me I have to. And some of them would say, I feel that I need this because and when I hear the word feel is when I feel that that student is ready. You know, when they say when the student is ready, the teacher will come? So, usually, I'm hearing and I'm looking for the word I feel like this. Because sometimes well, in most of the times, we don't do public speaking is because we don't feel we are good enough. We don't feel that we don't have something to say. We don't feel like we can perform.
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We can. We just don't feel that that I mean roll off. So it's that field we're working with. Yeah. A % true. So, like, I have a book coming out. I feel like it's been coming out forever. I've I'm almost embarrassed how many times I said it's coming out. Like and if you've you've published one, my your fear on that one is, oh my god. This is gonna suck. Right? Like, so you're gonna be embarrassed because it for, like, a post you can delete. This thing's in print sitting around somebody's shelf, probably in a clearance aisle at some point. Right? And so and so but when you do that, you realize, well, I do have something to talk about because even if it's just okay. It's it's your view. I mean, it's not like, you know, it's not gonna be a best seller or something. You at least have a point of view of which you can go speak about. And, I think there's a lot of introverts that write well because their thoughts can be thought out, and they're very careful, and they can do it, and they can take their time. Conversely, an extrovert, I have to talk to a ghostwriter so that introvert, the person I'm talking to, can go do something with it. That was my style. AI is just not there yet. It will be one day, though. It's good in there. It is. And but but the the the overcoming the introvert kind of, you know, helping them find their voice, I I think it's just a beautiful thing. And I think the otherwise the other way is I think it's the flip side of that. So it's the extrovert recognizing when you need to shut up and listen and give someone else a shout. And shut up is a harsh word, but, truthfully, like, just shut it. Like like, let someone else talk. Like you. I'm gonna let you do this now. No. But, like but, seriously, like so maybe maybe talk about that a little bit. Is is there another side of the training if someone comes to you, like, that do they ever come to you for the other half? Like, how do I become more introvert?
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How does that work? Well, there there are different kind of clients that come, and imposter syndrome, which you mentioned a little bit, is real for both sides, for introverts and extrovert extroverts when we don't feel like our message is worth being out there. And that's for both sides, introverts, extroverts, or anybody else there when we don't think that what we have to say is worth being out there. Is it is it good enough for the public out there? And I want to say yes because what seems ordinary is often extraordinary, and somebody needs to hear that story. Somebody needs to hear that message. Somebody needs to hear what you have to say because your story is somebody's survival mechanism, is somebody's survival road map. So whatever it is that you have to say, it's valuable because somebody needs to hear it.
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Is there a What I say? An autobiography going on here with you said that this is one of the first podcasts you've done. Are you putting yourself out there to tell your story this year? Is this is this something that you're actively in?
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I have done a few other podcasts, and I think most of us entrepreneurs get in the business that we are in because there is a pain, a story, something that we needed to to there is a story behind all of our businesses. I I started in communication business because with my background, I wasn't taught how to communicate. It wasn't part of the culture growing up. So I took it upon myself to learn the communication skill that is needed for me to succeed, and that's why I'm in business of communication. That's why I learned the science of communication. That's why I learned how to communicate. And I've learned my skills way late in life. So I think in my twenties and my thirties when I got into sales, that's when I learned the small talk, the networking, the power of communication. And that's why I got into teaching kids those skills earlier because I wanted my children to know that in middle school, in high school because I wanted them to have a head start. Because they need to know that skills from the get go because I want them to know those powerful skills, the soft skills that I've learned later because that's how they succeed. That's like a springboard into success in life. So, yes, behind every business, there's a story.
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I think you're an introvert in recovery because No. No. No. I wanna I wanna say I don't wanna recover. I love being an introvert. There's I know how you I mean, like, you're saying, like, you go on podcast. You were in sales. You were good at it. That doesn't sound like an introvert. You know, I Introvert. Both agree. Who makes a better salesperson? Who's better? Okay. I'll tell you what.
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Introverts are good listeners and a good observers. So when we have this conversation, let's say you walk into the retail settings. What does the extrovert do? Let me tell you about the product. Here's the product. This is why you need it. Here's what's happening. This is what it is. Do are you ready to buy? The you walk into the retail sales, and the introvert comes to you and says, how are you today? Or they run-in the backroom and go, oh, I gotta stop. And no. No. No. In retail sales, it's different because it's my territory, and it's a switch that introverts have to function in public. So the introvert asks you, how are you doing today? What brings you in? And they stop, and they listen. And when they listen, they read your body language. They pick up the cues you give them. They pay attention to how you dress, what you're wearing, who you talk about. They pay attention to who you're with, of what words you use. So they're able to picture you as a person and possibly pick up a solutions for you. So that's what makes them a better salespeople.
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They speak to Lynn. Feel like I'm getting judged now. You're like, I'm No. No. I'm be you're being analyzed.
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That's different. You're being analyzed. I'm observing. I'm I'm demonstrating the difference between an introvert and an extrovert.
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Just gonna go off camera now. I'm just gonna bring Well, that's kind of your butt that you you have to be on camera. That you're running the show. I don't I mean, listen. It but for I'm gonna give advice to anybody out there. If you wanna start a podcast, leave the video part off. It's so much easier just to talk into a microphone. You want you wanna share can I share one more tip? This is really cool. I want as many tip hold on. We'll make it full screen here. So I want you to Anna, give me a tip that every intro in the world can use.
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Well, not just an introvert. Anybody can can use. When you ask a question, listen for the response and an order of words of the response. Because, subconsciously, the order of words that are given to you is the priority that is giving, in the mind of the responder. So let's say I ask you, why didn't you come to my party? And you say, I really wanted to come, but I had a few things at work. That's the first response. The second response, I had a few things at work, but I really wanted to come. So the first response tells me that you really wanted to come, but that something came up because you put that first, because you really wanted to come. The second response, you said that the work came, but then you really wanted to come. So then the work was more important than you wanted to come. So next time you ask a person a question, pay attention in which order they put their words when they respond to you because that's their priorities, and that's how introverts listen to you. They pay attention and observe in which order you respond to them. And that's what makes introverts dangerous.
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I'm never talking to an introvert again. You should. They're very good listeners. I will tell you. So an extrovert hears that statement and hears shit sandwich, you didn't make it. Shit sandwich, you upgraded for something else.
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Well and I would say, do you need a hug?
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I would say, fine.
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No invite next time, whatever your excuse was. That's okay. Introverts are not gonna make it to your party anyway. They would rather eat it. They were they were actually
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in the South here in the Georgia Atlanta, Georgia, not the country, we we call that a Southern burn. We invite somebody who didn't really want there, and they show up. They're like, oh, shit. Easier. Oh, yeah. Come on over. And they show up. They're like, oh, no. Oh, man. I should. Everyone in the North knows not to show up. Oh, you're showing. She's not supposed to do that. I know we're that heavy. Alright. Let's go through, like, a top top list, some kind of top three. Give me, like, the top three things introverts can do today who who have a need to develop this skill. What what is the first thing they should do? Maybe what's the thing they should never do? Let's drop someone really good wisdom for somebody to, and make sure your words in the right order because I'm listening. I see. I see. I So give give me the thing you absolutely have to do and the one thing you should never do. Alright. The first thing introvert should absolutely do is
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to join Toastmasters because that is how you're gonna learn to speak, get out of your shell, and into the world to get your message because your message matters. And whatever you have to say, the world needs to hear. That is the number one. The one thing that you absolutely should not do is to think that you're not enough because you are more than enough. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think? It's gonna be a little lecture?
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I mean, I was gonna hope you could fill a good sixty seconds for a short. I was like, No. That's good. I saw the never, never think you are, not enough. I I like that because it it's hard to tell someone that. You almost have to show them. Right? Yes. Because because people aren't gonna just because you say it. It in some degree I have a practical list because Oh, there we go. Let's go practical list now. Telling someone they're not enough, that's kind of an
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abstract thing. So this is what they can practically do for introverts. Make a list of all the things that you have done, like a resume, but in a simple format with all the accomplishments that you've done. So every time you feel like you're not enough, so you can read that list to remind yourself how awesome you are. And if you don't think that that list is complete, ask your friends, ask your loved ones, ask your bosses. Make a list. The longest list you can think of, and do it when you're in a good mood. Like, do it when you're, like, feel, like, uplifted. Make that list, and keep that list to remind yourself how awesome you are. So those are the two things.
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What would you like I brush my teeth. I put my toothbrush back. No. No. No. No. Thanks. It's like an accomplishment
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a a professional accomplishment. Would be probably more yes. Thank you for helping me with my words. Now thank you, coach.
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What if they were like, I don't know what to write on that. Okay. Start with your resume,
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and then look at all the cool things, all the cool jobs you had, and think of your, you know, words of, awards. Think of projects, volunteer projects, the group that you joined. Think of every time somebody told you, hey. You did a good job. Write it on that list. So there. You do know them show up as needed. Talk to yourself like you would to your child. Like, you wouldn't tell your child, like, yeah, whatever. You would tell, like, hey. You did a good job. You did this. You did this. So talk to you like you would to your child. Like, stop talking to yourself like you are I don't know. What's the word? You can help me find the word. Like, three of the last six managers I've ever had. Yes. Yes. Talk to yourself like you would to your child or a best friend who needs a help. Like, start talking to yourself like you are your best friend.
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It's, who need that. It's it's interesting. You do know the name of the show has never been promoted. So I've I've I've been asked to leave lots of times. So I think I think I'd be most proud of how well I could get jobs and keep making more money. And the flip side of that is they never really lasted more than, like, 18 What do you keep doing? I think that's another show. Okay. Okay. Got it. I think I might need to you know what? That's a good question, by the way, because I think when you think of where where who you are, like, you know, I'm I'm somebody who's on the creative side discovering likely adult ADD, which I'm fine with. But but the point is when you put that in a corporate world where everything's run by process, do this, follow this rule, you don't you're in a spot you're probably not gonna succeed long term, and unless you're in the right role. So, like, for example, I was I was I was having this conversation with my wife the other day. I said, I think if I was in a role that I didn't know existed at the time, but I do know now, which is an evangelist role, where you're out there promoting something. You're it's kind of like a hype role. You're you're here's the great product. Your whole job is to talk about product feature and the benefits to business. And I have seen these guys do this, and I'm like, I would kill that role. Like, that's their that's their role. They hit a party. They hit a thing for two hours. They hit a conference, and they do their thing. And then I'm sure they go crash in a corner out of, like, too much. So so the point is, you know, yes, you look at some things you do. I I think making positive lists of things you've done and and and if you I guess my point is, if you don't have something in your career that you're really proud of, I think you focus on things that you do for life. Like, I volunteer. I help this lady cross the street that everyone else walked by. Like, Yes. And I think that identifies where you do add value Yes. And where you find passion. Because I could tell you, I I I I never cared about most of the stuff I did. I the stuff at work was always like, what's a minimal effort I could do to make money? So I I like, it would be the wrong place for me to focus, I guess, is my my point. It's it's a list of things you're proud of, whatever the context is because it actually, I think, defines the value of which you could then go speak about or do the next thing with that would actually bring value to you, make you give you the confidence because mine would not be through career.
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Right. So that would be that that is a fair observation. Yes. To some, it might be a career if you if they do have a successful one. And to some, it could be their passion project or something that they're proud of, the wins. So it would be the list of their wins to help them feel that they're enough. Because I'm sure each one of us have a certain part of our lives where we do feel that we're enough, and it may not always be balanced. So find that wins. Make a list of wins, whatever those wins are, and keep that list. So when you have that voice in your head that says I'm not enough, so you go to that list, and you remind yourself how awesome you are. So yeah. We do that. One of the coolest graphs I ever saw was,
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it was kinda like there was a line that said your your best self today. Right? And there was, like, a %, and then the line never went at a % all the time. Sometimes it went a little above. Right? And all it says is just try to get close to what your best is today because you're never gonna be a % every day. Like, you're just like you're it's not available. And it was, like, so good to see from, like, a I know this is a little derivative from the from the idea of introverts, but the idea that your your self worth and where you find, your value is it's it's in perspective of what success is and what what's available. Yes. And so and so if if just because you don't speak publicly very well or it takes you a minute to speak up in a meeting because you got to really get through your thoughts, you're an introvert. It doesn't mean you're not successful. And and and what it happens is usually the follow-up email you do with insight is incredibly successful. Like Right. Because you've thought about that you processed it. When your your thing was go join Toastmasters, I actually think that's a great idea even if you don't have any intention of do public speaking just so you can speak better on one on one Yes. Formally. So it's good to talk about that because I think people have a misconception of what Toastmasters is, but I think the value of it is way beyond what
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it does. It is so much more. You learn how to listen. You learn how to do a a quick thinking on your feet because most of our speaking happens on the spot. You're not preparing speeches all the time. So Toastmasters is so much more than public speaking. Yes. You are correct. A lot of times people think in public speaking, and they think in stage, camera, action. But, no, it is not that. You and I, this is public speaking. So every time you don't speak to yourself, it's a public speaking. It's a communication skills. The Toastmasters is about communication skills. It's about how do you get your message across that others understand you. How do you polish your listening skills? How do you polish your feedback skills, which we all need at any settings from home settings to personal communication to interpersonal communication to corporate communication. So it is about communication skills altogether. So that's what the Toastmaster is about. Leadership skills too because you polish that as well.
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I found a I very finally very rarely find a short or some kind of thing that's useful. But one area that I saw was when you're standing on stage, what do you do with your hands? Do you do jazz hands? Do you pick your nose? Do you do you flop around? It's to hold them kinda like this. Wow. And it gives you the zone of I'm in control. Listen here. You watch politicians, people who do it really well, they've been trained to hold their hands together. And and it's like your your body language helps build build your own confidence to be able to speak. I'm I I would assume Toastmasters does something like that, but I saw that. And I was asking you maybe there to validate that, or is there is that not complete? So you're on stage. You talk instead of, like, having your hands here and you talk. You know? Well,
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the biggest the biggest rule is that you don't cover your body. You don't close it off in front because that shows you that you're creating a barrier between yourself and the audience. So you do want to also It wasn't a useful one. No. It wasn't. You see, like, if if you don't know what to do with your hands, hold them in front. Yeah. Like, below the like, where I'm showing it. Kinda like me. No. You don't. No. You don't. Like like, more like You open you open yourself up. You would go in front of the audience. So you can put them you can put one hand in the pocket. You do the gestures. It's okay to have them alongside your body. You the more comfortable you are, you open up your shoulders. You you just you you use your gestures to present. And the more comfortable you are, the more comfortable you would be to have your hands aside your body and then emphasize the points by using your gestures, but you don't close them in front. For the most part, you don't, unless it's you're showing something that
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calls for that. Yeah. Do you see do you see the technique I did there? This is from never split the difference. It's called a no negative label that I had you correct. Yes. That was a great communication trick, wasn't it? I gave you misinformation Yes. With the intent that you would correct it. And if you agreed with it, I'd be like, this interview's over. Yes. That's so I guess my point I like the book. It's one of my favorite books, wasn't it? And that was one of the things you mislabel something so the other person corrects you. I love that. The truth is when you're up there, right, or you're doing something, do something that doesn't make people feel because you'll feel that. If you if you create, like, a if you stand like this and talk, like, that's, like, the worst. Right? If you're if you're all over the place, people kinda go, oh my god. Too much. But if you're kinda just natural there or whatever else, you know, a mic's better than a little thing because then you're like, at least I gotta have my hand on one thing. You can hold the mic. Right?
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You can throw the audience too if somebody doesn't pay attention to you. Like yeah. How about that?
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Can I you know? Also, one guy name is good so you don't hate someone who does pay attention to you. I I saw one guy walk like, he was doing his thing. He saw someone, like, doing text message. He walked down. He was like, he's like, can I reply? The the whole thing was about paying attention. It was that was the whole Yeah. Yeah. I think it was whoever dropped the mic?
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That was I have. They kicked out plenty of karaoke bars doing that. Don't do that in a karaoke bar. They will ask you to leave. They will ask you to leave. Yeah. I've done it on stage once. Always wanted to do it. It was quite fun, but I've had somebody try to catch it. That was even funner.
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The, do the David Goggins and just kind of toss it. Throw it away. I don't think they're gonna love it. Part of my point was with the the the information that you correct, right, the no, is also read a book. Take take some extra you know? But be careful of what you read or live watch on YouTube. Yes. Because that that guy came up and he kinda was like sources. Check your sources. Correct. And so when he did that, I was watching this, and I I was like, I don't think that's useful because he looked like a dick. He looked like it was, like, very standoffish. I'm like, I don't think I really like this kinda arrogant and just I am the man in charge. I'm like, who are you presenting to? Generals in the military? They don't wanna see that earlier either. Right. The crime. You know, so it was like, my point of that was be careful what you learn from and how you learn. I think Toastmasters, it's got a few
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It has a reputation. Thousand hours of people doing this. Yes. And it celebrated a hundred years to be around. Mhmm. It has the worldwide reputation of a really awesome speakers.
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So, yes, you want to check your sources. That's for sure. You do. You don't wanna just trust YouTube because once again, it proved me there's not much good in shorts why we don't really make that many. Unless it's the interview with the never been promoted podcast, and then it's excellent. Here we go. Look at you subtly sneaking that one in. I I didn't mean it was intentional. The whole setup was just so I could do that. That was the whole point of that. Let's let's, wait. We got thirty seven minutes. Oh, Shameless Plug Time. Who should get ahold of you? Yes. And and how do you want them to do that?
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Introvert. But
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we haven't talked about the book. We will. My book. I know, but it's it's shameless plug time. Before we get to the shameless plug. Yeah. Shameless plug for you. Who should get ahold of you after this? Just give me what we've talked about so far.
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Introverts who need help finding their voice. I'm here for you to help you find your voice, get your message out of the world. We can do it together.
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Go to Project Be You. That's projectBU.com. Thank you for listening today. There's more to come. This show is brought to you by project b u. It is. And is it? I think it is. When when I do that low voice not on camera, you listen. It's amazing. My heart's in here. Right? Sweet. Is that what it is? Project b u. Project b u. Now paging.
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I should start doing that too. When my,
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ex my boss ex boss. Sounds weird that way. When my boss would call me sometimes, I didn't wanna talk to him. I would pick up the phone and be like, hi. Thanks for calling. You've reached Thomas's phone. Please leave a message after the beep. And and I would just not say anything. It'd be on mute. And he'd start talking, and I come off mute, and I'd be like, beep. And I put it back on mute, and he'd start again, and then I just hang up. And then you wonder why you only last eighteen months in your jobs. Right? He sucked.
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Is there still questions why you last eighteen months?
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Why what? Are there still questions why you only last eighteen months in jobs? I'm I'm sorry. What did you say again? What was one thing? No. There's no question. Okay. It's very clear. You listen. It we're not talking about that. It has nothing to do. Tell me about your book.
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Now it's time. I I kind of jumped in. I'm sorry to interrupt it. No. Not at all.
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My story has no bearing on this story. You're an introvert. You're willing to listen, and I'm not gonna let you listen because it's just boring. It's it's like it's just Oh. It's everything No. I thought it was not to get promoted in a career. I I thought I was quite entertaining. It's a different show for a different day. I I'm not one. If I someone asked me it's amazing how people will come to me and ask me for, like, career advice. Like, you do realize I have a podcast called never been promoted. Like like, don't come to me for resume advice. My wife's in HR. Go to her. I send them to her, and she actually does a thoughtful She's not an introvert, but she's, like, she'll go through stuff and, like, actually put time in for somebody. And it's frustrating for her, and people don't really show the appreciation. But I was like, don't come to me. Like, no. I'll I'll get you fired if you take my advice. Alright. Your book.
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So the idea for the book came with the project video because I've been watching my introverted children doing amazing things, and I could see my five year old girls doing who couldn't make an eye contact, doing a business pitches. And I thought, wow. This is what a Project Be You is all about, and I want to capture this, and I want to tell the story to the world. And this is what the idea of the book came alive. And it's not about this book is not about teaching the money part of of life. This book about the introverted kids doing amazing things. After all, the kids are earning awards. We've done some business awards. We the kids started the business ventures. And this yes. Yes. This is this is the book, and they found their voice through the book. And what makes this book unique, and it's not about a theoretical approach approach or hypothetical case scenarios. This is something we've done. We are doing right now. The kids are earning the money. The kids are building the confidence. This is our story, and this is the road map from what I've done with my introverted kids. And this is teaching adults and educators how to do it, how to build the confidence, how to create. This is yeah. Here we go. Look at you. Look at you using using using the book. Gotten me totally distracted. I'm a visual learner, so every time you start putting these things on the screen, it got me totally get my thoughts all over. I know. For those listening thing, I'm I'm showing her book, the young entrepreneur's handbook,
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at anna scoby. It's 2n's,ann,scoby.com/book.
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It's beautiful. Like, So so this book breaks down the method that I've used with my with my students to go through not just the business aspect, but how to build the confidence, how to help the students to take the ideas that they have and into reality and without changing them who they are and teaching them that skills and building that confidence. Because when the child feels that they can, it builds their confidence. So this is the workbook to confidence, to build in those leaders and for them to not be the loudest to be followed, but the ones who have the most powerful ideas in the room and actually able to communicate them to the world and being heard because their message is effective. Just like with adults, if you're the one who can communicate your ideas, people will follow, And this is what the Even if they're bad or dangerous at ideas, look at some of the leaders in the world.
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If you look through history, some of the most powerful leaders who by all means, you look at their ideas, you're like, that's how is how why are so many people following that leader for that? They're the best communicators or the best use of media to do it. Yeah. Well, those throughout the years, like, from the eighteen hundreds, '17 it doesn't matter when.
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Those who tell the stories rule the world. Right. That's why communication is so powerful. And if we teach our children how to communicate, if as adults, we learn the power of communication, we can succeed. We can be so much further in life with our ideas, with our jobs, with our projects, with everything we do. It's all in the power of communication.
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I think, I think when you sell this to a child, you have to put it in their terms.
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So Well How to get your extrovert
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brother how to get your extrovert brother in trouble by telling the better story.
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Yes. That's true. But I'm glad that you said it because the book, in a sense, written in two languages, it has two pages, a page for a grown up and the educator, and a page for a child, which was edited and written by my daughter. So it is written in two languages for a grown up and for a child. So both are accommodated in the book from the communication point of view. And it's colorful, it's interactive, and it can be done with, fun. And it's a project based learning, so it's not just like, hey. This is what you do. It's you are involved, you're playing, and you're growing, and it's an easy to follow from idea to income in a chapter by chapter from budgeting to storytelling.
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What were you what was your biggest concern when writing the book? You know, it's your first one. You're doing it. What were you what were you scared about?
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I think my imposter syndrome kicked in hard, right before it went live because, like you mentioned before, it was one of those, wait. What if they're not gonna like it? What if they're not gonna think it's real? What if I'm gonna be called out and saying, hey. This isn't gonna book. So I've had those moments, and I think as we were editing it now for the second edition, my editor was like, why is there so many pictures in there? And I was like, I was proving that I'm real. I needed to put so many pictures in this book because I wanted pictures from all our markets. I wanted pictures from all of our awards. I wanted pictures. And she's like, this looks like a scrapbook. And I was like, yes. Because I was proving that I am for sure I did it. She's like, okay. We're gonna take some of the pictures out because I am confused. So that's why the second edition coming in because we are editing it, and we included some of the true stories from my entrepreneurs where we shared our failures and success stories because it's a journey of what worked, what didn't, and how we did it was important for me to show to the entrepreneurs and to the to the educators, to the parents that, hey. Not all ideas are gonna work, but that's the whole point. We have to tell. We have to let the kids you know how they say in entrepreneurship, fail faster because that's how you learn? That's the whole book. You have to let the kids be. You have to let them do because as they learn, as they succeed or fail, that's where the confidence comes in because you show them that you believe in them. And that's how I work with my clients as well. You have to show them that you believe in them. You have to let them feel that you are with them. You have to let them feel that there's someone there on their side, and and that's how the confidence grows. You're on their side, and that's what the book teaches both entrepreneurs and the the adult or educator that, hey. Just be on their side, by their side with them, and everybody grows.
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Yeah. It's it's so my I have three kids. My youngest is, the entrepreneur making. She actually listens, and she, you know, she has a little business she's doing for lip balm. And last night, we made all natural lip balm, and I was like my wife came to I I was in the kitchen cooking. She's like, I thought this was be something she was doing. I was like, oh, I kinda like this. Kinda fun. And so we made a formula that was very not too greasy, but not too waxy and, you know, had some and so and so we did it today. And and and I she's like, oh, man. You know, I she'll come home and she has $24. I'm like, oh my. That's awesome. And she she's always she's she always seems to have cash. I'm like, how do you have so much? Literally has more cash on her than me at any point. But the point I with that is, she said, all these now that my business keeps going, more and more people are like, oh, you should we should join businesses and this and that. And and and and she kinda goes, well, like, theirs is gonna be around in a week or this. And I was like, no. You should be very positive. She said, listen. That's great. I hope it's going well. And she's like, well, what do they do when they ask me to be a partner or something? I was like, just say, listen. I'm just trying to focus on my own thing right now. It's flattering you asked. And I said, the lesson here is the more things you say yes to, you say no to everything else that you could have done. So unless you really wanna do it, don't say yes. And she's like, oh, okay. Let's get it. And and it's fun because, as she learns this this entrepreneurial journey and she, you know, doesn't I I'm trying to explain to her. I was like, hey. You know, these little things, she's like, I go, what did you sell the one with Vaseline for? It's like a dollar. I was like, we'll sell these for 2. She's like, it's really no different. I was like, it is. It's all natural. And I go, just tell people it's $2 because this is all natural. This is a better product. I go, you're learning marketing because that's the only thing that's gonna matter in this business because at the end of the day you know? So she learns. She listens, and she's like, okay. And I was like, go get and and get leave the point in this. It's like, go get an adult's opinion. I was like, just give it to your teacher and say, I really value your opinion. Here's a free sample. My dad and I made this. Give me let me know what you think. She's like, okay. And she's like, oh, I don't like oh, that's weird. I wanna ask my teacher that. I was like, do it in your own way, but just do it as formal as you can. And she comes back today. She's like, yeah. My teacher was in a bad mood. There's no way I was doing that. I was like, that's really good good situational awareness. You don't wanna sell or give anything away when it comes pissed because they're gonna associate what you gave it to him in anger.
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That is such a valuable lesson. Yeah. That's what it is. That's the whole idea of catching those life moments and teaching in those life moments because that creates a meaningful interaction with your children. So you will know how to do it, but there are a lot of parents who don't know it because they don't have the background in sales. I do well with her. The other two, I probably don't do. It's so nice. Yeah. But, you know, some parents don't know how to do it, and they wanna learn how to have those meaningful interaction with their kids. And this is what this book give them those moments to teach the kids, to interact with their kids, and that's because you don't wanna sit with them. Okay. This is how the money work. This is how they count. Like, no. The lemonade stands are not working anymore. But this is
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this is the meaningful interaction. This is how you teach them. This is how you go through okay. The money don't just grow on trees, and it's not just in your wallet you just take out. They don't just don't get there to the wallet. That's right. So when we we started hers, just to be fair with it, I said, okay. What do you wanna do? And she's like, oh, I wanna do let's say, alright. So how much is a tub of Vaseline? And I go, what's the coconut water? And I go, what are those things? And I said, let's put it all together. Let's ask GPT how much we can we make given the amount of vials we have, and let's assume we're gonna waste 15% of it trying. Yeah. She's like, alright. And it came out to, like, 24¢ to make one of them. And I was like, this is a really good business because I was, like, looking. I'm like, I have no idea what's going on. Right? Right. She's selling them for a dollar, and I'm like, alright. So she's giving it away basically to kids. And I'm like, but she's still making three times your cost. That's awesome. Can we find a way to scale this? So now I'm telling her I said to her, like, listen. Like, I I love you're doing this. We have to find you a new market because going to school doesn't prove it. It just proves kids like you and they want to do it and they're rebuying. That's a good indicator. I go, you need to find something an adult would buy. If you can find something an adult would buy. How to find markets to sell the product. So I'll send you the copy so you can get it. It's gotta be autograph. I'm not reading it. I will I will not Amazon drop. I'm fine with that as well. You can just say, hey. It's for you. The point being with that is that as she's she's learning, you find these little reflective moments like you talked about. And I said, if you can sell if you could find something mommy would buy. Like, not and it's not that she's pick yourself, but, like, that she's like, oh, that's actually a good product. It's as good as anything I'd find. I already bought evelinacosmetics.com.
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Like, I already have it. I'm not a reflection. You just said the magic word. It's about reflection because if you were just doing it and not reflecting, you're not learning. So Exactly.
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And I said, you want a YouTube channel? You gotta have a product you have to push. And I go and to start with, you can pick all these makeup things you wanna go and just do them on me. And I think that would be funny. I'll get my nails done. You just wanna be on the spotlight. This is awesome. I wanna make sure that we have some memory memory. Know. Yeah. I want the memories captured on video together. That's that was my idea. And, also, I think it'd just be funny.
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Yes. Yes.
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Because it it's it's it's the point is to find these moments where it adds value and add your life story. And at the same time, it takes away the fears and they and when you have a kid that listens, it it, like, what I mean by listens is empathetically is trying to learn because they're actually interested in it because maybe you are. She's like, oh, I wanna be entrepreneur like daddy. And, you know, it's like, listen. You're not gonna get rich right away. I just wanna be clear. Almost every child listens when you talk with them and not at them. It's Yeah. And that's hard. Engage with them. And it's it's just that you have to find that common ground, the words,
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the approach, and the moment. Yeah. It's just that. It's just finding it's just finding that and, you know, I keep saying it, but in the book, we'll show how. And it may work or not for everyone, but you can at least try. I mean, I could get make three different so so the oldest,
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you have to take the coaches, get off your ass, go do it, bust it out, and you get done, hey. Great job. Works. Middle ones, if it's not his idea, it doesn't exist. And you gotta be like, alright. Well, try it. Go for it. You know? We'll have our support. And then, like, a minute later, yeah, that's not gonna work. But if I had said no. No. It won't work. Months later, he'd still be trying to do it. And then the flip side is the youngest, it's like, this is what I would think, and she listens, like, okay. That makes sense. Let me try that. And it's like, it's exhausting to know which which hat do I gotta put on right now to get this kid to communicate correctly. That's parenting for you. Oh, man. Anyway, I know it's out of scope for what we're talking about. But I think with your entrepreneurial book, if you're going through the literacy of entrepreneurship or building a business, I do like the idea, by the way, of using GBT to explain what it is and how much money you should retain. And and we did that with the model. I was like, alright. So every dollar you make, we should cover the too.
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We we have that model of going through breaking down the cost of doing business and how to calculate, how to test the idea. Will this idea work or not? So we have that exercise as well because we That's a great exercise. I love that. We wanna make sure that each idea is validated because we don't want the child to think like, oh, the my idea is being dismissed because we want ideas validated. And that's how we validate them. We also have a chapter there where you do investors pitch. When you go to the parents and say, hey. This is my idea. I did my exercise. I broke it down. Here's my cost. Here, who wants to buy it? This is how it's gonna look like. We have a chapter on this is how I'm gonna sell it. This is my storytelling chapter. And we have a chapter on how to find the market. Like, here, how I'm gonna sell it. So there's many chapters there from this is how I brainstorm my ideas. This is my breaking down the costs. This is how will my idea work? So and and there are tips there from parents, from from the parents of my students who are like, hey. This is how I worked with my child. And there's one of my favorite stories in the book is one of my entrepreneurs said, my mom hated my idea, and she did not want me to do it. I did it, and guess what? She sold out with her ideas within the first thirty minutes of the market. And, you know, that look on her face when she walked up to the mom and said, you didn't think it's gonna work. You know? How how big her ego was and the confidence in that moment, and her mom coming to me and say, I should've read your book.
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I should've The mom was totally like, I did that just so you would get that.
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No. No. And I was like, well, now you know.
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I love that. You know, it it's it's funny. So sometimes, like like, you know, you do have to create these moments where the kid almost needs defiance disorder to to succeed, to show you that you're wrong. And I'm like, that's a hard moment for a parent to be like, alright. I need they need to prove me wrong, so I gotta set it up so they can. And that means they're open.
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Yeah. But the hardest part in this process is to keep the parents away because often as the parents, we bring our own fears, insecurities,
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judgement
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protections. Yeah. Our own money experience into the kids' learning processes. And that's the hardest part often because we had our own challenges with money. We had our own lessons we've learned the hard way, but that doesn't mean our kids gonna have the same challenges, the same experience. And we have to let them do things their way, and we just have to like, that that's that's what the book also guides the parents, like, to stay neutral. You know, when you go to the car wash and they tell you put your car in a neutral setting? So that book helps the parents to stay neutral and let the kid do their thing. So that's that's the beauty of the book as well.
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I love I mean, I'm gonna I I look forward to reading it and with I'll bring it with my my daughter with it. Anna, thank you so much. I know we're over a little bit on time. I appreciate the extra time you've given the the show today, and, I love that you're out there doing this. This is a beautiful thing, and, I hope we can have you back on the show at some point to kinda talk about the next phase of what you're working on and how it how it evolves for you as well. But thank you so much for coming on today.
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I love being here. Go introverts and extroverts. Go everyone. Go everyone. Don't say it too loud. Don't stand up when you say it. Okay? Just sit down and whisper it. No. Let everybody succeed. We are rooting for everyone. There is enough for everyone to succeed. We should all get what we want.
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I love it. Thank you. I'm gonna put you in the periwinkle room. I'll be right back. Thank you so much, Anna, for coming on. Check out her book at AnnaScobie.com/book, and check out projectbu.com. I hope today, was, helpful for you to learn some about being an introvert or or someone in your life that you could take the step. Check out the book that helps your kids, just become more confident, learn how to speak up, how to share their ideas. And any of your kids an extrovert, I think it's a good lesson to know how to speak maybe properly without overstepping on those around you because the more inclusive you are sometimes extroverts, by the way, your best friends become introverts because you allow them to speak and interact, and they gotta feed off your energy and feel a little bit of that extrovert. And some some of my best friends growing up were absolute introverts because I took a time to just, believe it or not, let them speak. But, thank you. Get out there. Go unleash your entrepreneur. I really appreciate listening to the Never Been Promoted podcast. Smash that follow button before you leave. Thank you for joining us on this episode of Cut the Time. Let's stay connected. Please hit that follow button on Apple, Spotify, or YouTube. And if you're ready to advance your entrepreneurial journey even further, join our free community at facebook.com/groups/cutthetie. Cut the tie to everything holding you back from success.